2009 February | Blunt Delivery

I’m Just Not That Into Him

→ February 25, 2009 1

So if there’s one thing that might force me to relinquish all respect for my mother, it would be that she loves Neil Diamond. And black licorice. Both, unforgivable offences. If you didn’t know, Neil made a guest appearance on tonight’s Grammies. I wasn’t warned of this, obviously. This gave me no choice but to [...]

What Not To Buy For Valentine’s Day

→ February 25, 2009 3

Dearest lovebirds of all shapes and sizes, With the corniest scam holiday of the year fastly closing in on us, I thought I’d take the opposite approach to many websites, which list “good” Valentines Day gift ideas. This could be because I hate Valentines Day. Or that I take the opposite approach to just about everything. If [...]

The School of Life

→ February 25, 2009 0

Now it’s time for you to pull up a seat, sharpen your pencil, steal a couple glue sticks, and grab a lunchable [or maybe some of those pre-sliced apples in the little pouches designed for the world's laziest moms]. Please clear your mind of all recent uncomfortable encounters, romantic endeavors gone awry, and anything else [...]

Dilemma: But That Was My Juice

→ February 25, 2009 1

Me: (reaching into the fridge to grab a carton of OJ….noticing that it feels rather light) Um. Why do you drink the juice when I said it was for me? Him: It’s just juice. It’s for drinking. Me: But the point is, I said it was for me. Him: This is the fourth time we’ve argued about this… what [...]

How To Avoid Old Friends

→ February 25, 2009 1

There are two planetary certainties which occur ever time I leave the comfort of my surroundings and venture out into the cold, harsh reality that is our world: 1. I will step in gum that I myself spat out merely five seconds prior. 2. I will have an awkward encounter with an astranged friend I haven’t seen since the [...]

Like Black On A Chalkboard

→ February 24, 2009 2

One of my goals for 2009 was to “stop fabricating the truth” so that means that what you are about to witness is definitely legit. My family is hilarious. We’re like the token Italian family they always showcase in movies, who talk over eachother and have 8 different conversations happening at once. Except, my mom [...]

What Women Really Want

→ February 24, 2009 1

Harry: “You were going to be a gymnast.” Sally: “A journalist.” Harry: “Right, that’s what I said.” Guys, if you’ve ever been perplexed and confounded by the ways of women, I understand. I do. Although I might be one, I only understand our ways about 45% of the time. But within that 45% of understanding, I am going to [...]

17 Rules To Live By

→ February 24, 2009 0

1. Don’t cry over spilt milk, unless if was effing hot. 2. Always remember that hot dates come and go, but STDs last a lifetime. 3. Carry a gun at all times. Share the love:u=http://www.bluntdelivery.com/2009/02/24/17-rules-to-live-by/&title=17+Rules+To+Live+By" title="Add '17 Rules To Live By' to BlueDot">

Dilemma: Can You Run To The Store For Me?

→ February 23, 2009 1

The other day, when I was hard at work on the internet, I accidentally came across a salad recipe that commanded my undivided atttention. I know what you’re thinking, and no, I’m not one of those birds who eats salads and drinks skim milk. I had just polished off an entire box of Peppermint ice [...]

Pomegranates Are The New Orange

→ February 23, 2009 0

Unfortunately, pomegranates are also the new disfunctional relationship. We sense there’s something worthwhile deep down inside, but there’s just to much crap to go through in order to get to it. But we’ll still try. God knows, until we are old, grey, and in a mental institution…we will still try. Share the love:u=http://www.bluntdelivery.com/2009/02/23/pomegranates-are-the-new-orange/&title=Pomegranates+Are+The+New+Orange" title="Add 'Pomegranates Are The [...]

Obama Steals Aretha Franklin’s Hat at Inauguration

→ February 23, 2009 0

Aretha Franklin definately commanded some respect for her hat and for her performance of the national anthem at the Presidential Inauguration. Share the love:u=http://www.bluntdelivery.com/2009/02/23/obama-steals-aretha-franklins-hat-at-inauguration/&title=Obama+Steals+Aretha+Franklin%26%238217%3Bs+Hat+at+Inauguration" title="Add 'Obama Steals Aretha Franklin’s Hat at Inauguration' to BlueDot">

Superbowl Analysis: The Yellow Team Won

→ February 23, 2009 0

Superbowl Sunday afternoon, conversation: him: I have to pick up some pop for the superbowl party later. me: We’re going to a superbowl party? him: Yea, I told you that. me: What? I’m not so sure about that. him: I did. You don’t remember. me: No, I wasn’t listening. Well, I didn’t know that was today. What’s the date today? him: It’s [...]

How To Attain Financial Freedom

→ February 23, 2009 1

When all you do is write for a living, you become a hermit by default. When I say hermit, I mean that I’m skeptical as to whether or not my car will even start due to how long it’s been sitting in my garage. Between the endless writing and working on my new business [which [...]

Almost 27 Dresses

→ February 23, 2009 0

Months of planning. thousands of someone’s dad’s dollars. perfectly arranged flowers and candles. finger foods. a heartfelt speech or not. an overpriced cash bar. hundreds of random people. a stressed out bride and a carefree groomsman. and one completely clueless DJ. After coming home to recooperate from the thirteenth wedding I’ve now been in / coordinated, I [...]

Also published on »February, 2009«

I’m Just Not That Into Him

What Not To Buy For Valentine’s Day

The School of Life

Dilemma: But That Was My Juice

How To Avoid Old Friends

Like Black On A Chalkboard

What Women Really Want

17 Rules To Live By

Dilemma: Can You Run To The Store For Me?

Pomegranates Are The New Orange

Obama Steals Aretha Franklin’s Hat at Inauguration

Superbowl Analysis: The Yellow Team Won

How To Attain Financial Freedom

Almost 27 Dresses

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