Blunt Deliveries | Blunt Delivery

Why I Hate Women: Oh Let Me Count The Ways

→ May 6, 2009 146

As usual, I couldn’t sleep. I ended up watching a classic movie. You know, black and white… Cary Grant… some painfully prudish woman, who never takes off her apron and high heels. And let me tell you something: it sucked. Hardcore. I know that saying you like to drink coffee and watch “old movies” on a [...]

Dear Matthew McConaughey,

→ April 15, 2009 48

Dear Matthew McConaughey, Can you make a different movie already? Wait. What was that? OH, you can’t. It’s physically impossible? Okay. So I can just expect the same movie with the same plot, where you discover you were some sort of “bet,” and then you get fake mad, and then storm out, only to read an article that [...]

Dear Rickety Old Lady,

→ March 28, 2009 39

I think now would be a perfect time to discuss goals. Making them, keeping them. For example, one of my goals in the New Year was to stop procrastinating. Actually, you know what? I don’t have time for this, let’s talk about it next week. But what I DO think we should talk about today is [...]

Anatomy Of A Creeptown

→ March 26, 2009 53

I have problems. Many, actually. But we have bigger fish to fry. You wanna know who has bigger problems than me? Creeptowns. On my old blog, I wrote a few warnings about Creeptowns, which I haven’t yet incorporated into this website. But this is a matter so dear, so close to my heart, that I cannot bear [...]

What Women Really Want Part II

→ March 21, 2009 61

Come on in. Pop open a cold one (non-alcoholic, of course, cus I need you to keep it classy and focus on what I’m saying). Grab all your friends and sit Indian style on the mat. Please don’t be concerned if you can’t sit Indian style, the more important problem is, why don’t you have any friends? Men, I especially want [...]

A Post-It Would Have Been Better

→ March 14, 2009 61

My first “breakup” occurred in Middle School. Granted, we’d never gone on one single date, but we definately ate lunch together and stuff. I remember it as clearly as the white turtleneck dickie that so unfortunately adorned my collarbone. Within one split second of reaching my locker, I went from being a girl with a [...]

Dear Chris Brown,

→ March 13, 2009 24

I apologize if none of this makes sense. Someone just smacked me upside the head. I’m currently asphyxiated by the fumes of scrubbing bubbles. Considering I don’t clean my shower until it’s borderline orange (but I can’t ever tell because the lights are always so dim) (I can’t help it my dad’s an electrician and [...]

Middle School Misfortune

→ March 6, 2009 16

To say that I was an awkward middle-schooler would be to say that grass is green. Or Obama is the Messiah. Or half of my teeth need fillings. There were so many things wrong with me that I might actually have been considered “cute.” In an unfortunate kind of way, of course. My parents always did [...]

Dear Leonardo DiCaprio,

→ February 27, 2009 2

After all these years… after all the pain we’ve been through. After waiting in obscene lines with hundreds of other equally pathetic women only to watch Titanic for the tenth time, thinking that somehow this time Rose might not be such a stingy lovestruck beotch and would let you hop on that raft for a just couple seconds [...]

A New Year A New You

→ February 22, 2009 0

Much in the same way a late night infomercial can mesmerize even the most disenchanted observer, I am about to mesmerize you with my savvy knowledge of life and relationships. Only one more day until you are free from your past. It’s time to grab hold of your future and ride it into the sunset. [...]

There is more where that came from »Blunt Deliveries« Follow This Topic

Why I Hate Women: Oh Let Me Count The Ways

Dear Matthew McConaughey,

Dear Rickety Old Lady,

Anatomy Of A Creeptown

What Women Really Want Part II

A Post-It Would Have Been Better

Dear Chris Brown,

Middle School Misfortune

Dear Leonardo DiCaprio,

A New Year A New You

Subscribe

Who, me?

Twitter: the great mystery of life.

My Freelance Writing Website

You should, like, do this.

These are the blogs of legends

Like sands through the hourglass...

Erectile Dysfunction Drugs Tadalafil Cialis Icos

q cialis restrictvalue web

paypal cialis

"biblioth ques sp cialis es"

Red Devil Tadalafil Generic Cialis

cialis samples

Buy Cialis Tadalafil At Horizon Drugs