Parents | Blunt Delivery

Where Beer Flows Like Boxed Wine

→ April 23, 2009 48

It’s no wonder I don’t make any sense. I’m a combination of two polar opposites, who by all rights, should never have met much less married. My mother came from a nazi-strict household where she wasn’t allowed to see movies or go to fooball games, for fear she would encounter Satan himself. She also wasn’t allowed to celebrate Christmas which explains why [...]

A Boy, Not Yet A Woman

→ April 20, 2009 57

What exactly is it with the Recycle Bin on my desktop? And why is it that everytime I go to empty it, I accidentally delete it? And why is it that when I go to search for it in my computer, it says ‘no results found?’ And why is my computer trying so hard to [...]

Your Daily Dose Of Paranoia

→ April 14, 2009 56

This is a snapshot of my life on any given day. …Piles of unopened mail. …30 different notepads with un-descipherable scribbles of random thougths that I’ve written down when I was supposed to be hanging out with someone. After Easter, the Cadbury chocolate bar could be easily substituted for Reeses or anything but Milk Duds. [...]

The Easter Bunny Can Suck It

→ April 13, 2009 41

It’s Easter. I’m sitting next to my dad in church. All of the sudden, right before the service starts he turns to me and grabs my arm: Dad: Oh, you know what? Me: What’s that? Dad: I heard Yanni is coming out with a new cd. If this conversation isn’t the right way to kick off Easter, I don’t know [...]

Dear Rickety Old Lady,

→ March 28, 2009 39

I think now would be a perfect time to discuss goals. Making them, keeping them. For example, one of my goals in the New Year was to stop procrastinating. Actually, you know what? I don’t have time for this, let’s talk about it next week. But what I DO think we should talk about today is [...]

Kenny Chronicles: Technologically Challenged

→ March 22, 2009 26

So Kenny, my metrosexual best friend and I are doing some errands around town, when my mom calls: Mom: I have a pretty serious problem. Me: What’s wrong?!? Mom: I can’t watch any of my shows. And Dancing With The Stars is premiering tonight and I can’t watch that either! Me: Why? Do you want me to tape it? Mom: Well your dad [...]

Look, Do You Want To Die?

→ March 18, 2009 40

I’m sure you’d never guess it now, but I was a strange child. I grew up in the country so my days consisted of collecting caterpillars, creating my own farmer’s market, and attempting to build tree forts that definately endangered the safety of not only my life but also of my one neighbor friend that [...]

Middle School Misfortune

→ March 6, 2009 16

To say that I was an awkward middle-schooler would be to say that grass is green. Or Obama is the Messiah. Or half of my teeth need fillings. There were so many things wrong with me that I might actually have been considered “cute.” In an unfortunate kind of way, of course. My parents always did [...]

Alice Cooper and Committment Issues

→ February 25, 2009 5

I was thinking that we would touch the subject of commitments and fears and all sorts of deep rooted feelings that surface on a late saturday night. Sound fun? Ok, let’s get right to it: I have serious problems with committment. Hmm. Well, I know I just said I was going to talk about that but [...]

Like Black On A Chalkboard

→ February 24, 2009 2

One of my goals for 2009 was to “stop fabricating the truth” so that means that what you are about to witness is definitely legit. My family is hilarious. We’re like the token Italian family they always showcase in movies, who talk over eachother and have 8 different conversations happening at once. Except, my mom [...]

Browsing all posts tagged under »parents«

Where Beer Flows Like Boxed Wine

A Boy, Not Yet A Woman

Your Daily Dose Of Paranoia

The Easter Bunny Can Suck It

Dear Rickety Old Lady,

Kenny Chronicles: Technologically Challenged

Look, Do You Want To Die?

Middle School Misfortune

Alice Cooper and Committment Issues

Like Black On A Chalkboard

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